Time To Go Back Home

 

Zoe and Her Unicorn by, Sheila White

My Dearest Zoe,

It is my last day here with you. I leave tonight to return to California. We have healed our wounds, made our bonds, gotten to know each other, loved and hugged, danced to the Wiggles, played with Pinky, walked to the park, ate strawberries and black berries and raspberries, threw the footie outside, hung out at the Shelly Shack, and had family hugs. I will miss you and watching as your curls begin to grow and as you learn to say many more new words. Our plan is you will be coming to be in our home in a few weeks. You will be able to meet Auntie Sara and Uncle Ian and Freyja and her new baby sister. That will be amazing too. 

I wanted to share with you through these letters why you are magic, why you ride a unicorn. There were so many reasons that your precious life was not predicted and truly unexpected with what seemed to be insurmountable odds.  It is like magic. And I know so much is due to the will, life karma and strength of your momma. In a blog post of your mom's before her first visit to Australia she wrote: "There are a lot of magical moments in life but they don't just happen - you have to look for them, work for them and earn them. My goals of getting fitter, faster, and breaking records won't happen with me sitting on the couch.  I have to go out and work for it.  The final result may be magical but it is going to take a lot of blood, sweat and tears - but I am ready.  I am motivated and I can't wait to get to Australia for this amazing Swimcation adventure!"......... And going to Australia would come to mean so much more than swimming and athletic competition. Her hard work, willingness to face her challenges and belief in magical moments and working for them is why you are here and you are the little granddaughter we share with Nan and Pop. That is your momma. And there is no stopping her.

The result of this trip was love and hope and the future. And for the future, together we are building a family and guest house just down the street from you! This was never intended in our minds when Chief and Bubble arrived but now, it is done. The land lot is purchased, the house has been designed. It now is just a matter of time! Magic, magic, magic!

Zoe, as magical as a unicorn!

 We will be back. Until then we will be visiting via the magic phone camera. 

Love Forever, Your Bubbles 

Our Little Aussie

Our little Aussie

My Dearest Zoe,

I look forward to the days and years ahead when I can tell you more stories about your mom and who she is and where she came from. I am coming close to the end of my 6 week visit with you living in your home where I have seen your days. I know your routine now. I know about your waking up in the morning, your toys and those things that interest you, your rest time each day, your meals, and the end of your day. I have heard your developing vocabulary with you saying, I do, Momma, Daddy, a close pronunciation of Bubbles and Chief and the beginning of an accent. I hear it in the say you say a simple word, car. I have been listening to Aussies now for weeks trying to identify the accent and the different words for familiar things. When you come to our home for a visit through the years you will see that there are differences but it is not that unfamiliar. You are a little Aussie. This is your home. This is where you will grow up.

Distance is painful. We want to be closer to you. We want to be in your life more than we will. But even more than that we are blessed and so grateful you are our little Aussie. We are grateful that your mom has found a home, the love of her life, a good and healthy life style and you. It is just the way it is. This is the acceptance we all have had to come too. We can not dwell on the distance from you. We will rejoice when we are able to be together (and cry when we miss you, to be honest). These past two plus years were so difficult as the distance between us was enhanced by the Covid pandemic. We do not know what the future holds but we will do all we can to come back for time together and expect you to visit us too in the years ahead. More and more stories will be told. More and more magic will be found.

Our lovely Aussie family

One aspect of our lives that has been so important to us has been community. Your mom has a strong and vibrant community of friends who live all around the world. In this time we can stay connected in ways people were never able to years ago. You know, you are from an ancestry of brave travelers and emigrants who left their families for a better life abroad. They left for many reasons that were political, social and adventurous. This history is true for many as this world changed and grew because people were not limited by distance. There were instincts inside many that caused them to reach out further and farther for a better life for themselves and their children and they had to face challenges and loss. Losses of connection to their families and communities were not easy. I will prepare an ancestry notebook for you so that you can see that your mom was but the latest in your line of mothers and fathers and grandparents who took the leap and had the courage of such an adventure.

 

In Australia your ancestry will be unique with your American history. It is a part of you that includes a 12 times great grandfather and grandmother who came from England on the storied ship, the Mayflower and landed in a new world. It also includes another many, many times great grandfather from another branch of your ancestry who came from England to land in Virginia and became an interpreter for a queen of a Native American tribe and who married a grandmother of yours in the new world who was most likely a native woman. There are so many tales of bravery, of compassion, of adventure and loss and accomplishment that we will only know hints of. There are also ancestors who left famine and injustice for a better world. These people are a part of you. That ancestry now has found its way to Australia through your mom! 

You will also learn over time about Australia and the forming of its people and government and how your family played a role through your father. It takes bravery to live in this world as a human. No matter who your ancestors were or what roles they played, on both sides, they met the challenges to be survivors. You carry that bravery, that sense of adventure and resilience. We have to keep this perspective when we feel the distance is so great. When our many great grandparents left their world there was little way to ever be in touch again. In this world, we have ways. We will be talking with you nearly every day. We will know what you are doing and how you are growing. We will know that the immediate stories of our lives will have greater meanings that we will never understand because this life and this world is so vast and mysterious and magical.

We are your grandparents who love you!

 

You have a community of family in Australia who love you as much as we do. You have grandparents, Nan and Pop who are there for you. We are so grateful they are there to be in your lives, to love you and help out your mom and dad. As you grow up you will learn more about your Aussie family and friends. This is your land and your home. You do hold dual citizenship so you are truly an Aussie and an American......an AA girl! You are special and unique and wonderful. We hope in the coming years we will be able to learn more about Australia and visit more of the country. We also hope that you will come to visit in America and get to know your cousins and your Auntie Sara and Uncle Ian and other aunts and uncles and members of our community of friends and supporters. 

Auntie Sara, Uncle Ian, Freyja and little one to be.

 

And Zoe, remember always that we live under the same moon and you are ours forever...

Zoe and our moon in a gentle pastel sky.

 

Be A Treasure Hunter

 

Found Treasures

My Dearest Zoe,

This morning I am reflecting on what more I want to tell you and how to tell you more. It helps me to look through the photos taken while being here. This photo is especially important because it reflects so much about what I want you to know of why you are such a miracle. It is not only about you and the magical circumstances that lead to your birth but it is also about how to live a fulfilling life.

This collage was created by your mom a few days ago. It is so special to me as well as it came from a process that I share with your mom and I hope you will adopt in your life too. It is an art piece of a treasure hunter. Your mom is a treasure hunter. If we all could become treasure hunters in this life we would all have more of the magic like I have shared exists for you and everyone. to be a successful treasure hunter you must have the willingness to expect treasures where ever you go. They can be found in the most simple and unexpected places.

First stop, the thrift shop, or rather, in Australia they are called Op Shops. Our favorite place to look for treasures and special deals is to go where people have donated items due to their generosity and Spring cleaning urges of stuff reduction. You never know what you will find! The base for this object of art was found on one of these excursions into the Op Shop world of Vinnies (Saint Vincent dePaul). This piece of wood with tiles glued on it inspired your mom.

Next or maybe it was first, the collection of items from the sea. At the Shelly Shack there are daily offerings of shells and glass and other extraneous items left on the beach front. Your mom loves, loves, loves going for a walk to see what she can discover returning with filled buckets of treasures.

Sea Treasures

Returning from a treasure hunt.

We cleaned and sorted these one of a kind special items that were claimed by the sea, washed and shaped and given back. Not everyone will walk as your mom does with her eyes pealed, as they say, looking for treasures. Not everyone will marvel at a simple glimmer of color reflected in a broken piece of shell or wonder at the lost story in a piece of rusted metal found in the sand. And, not everyone will take those treasures and put them on another treasure found on another day that spoke of repurposing for art. Your mom did, and now we have a creative art piece ready to be hung and admired. When you see it you will think of the shells and their spiral forms and abalone rainbow colors and the tile and other human made items whose stories have been forgotten but now retold. This is what a treasure hunter does. 

Your mom will hope that you too will become a treasure hunter and find the hope and inspirations and loves and courage that you need in this life in all kinds of places. A treasure hunter knows how to pick and find in the outer and the inner world. This is how we find happiness. This is why she is a happy and fulfilled person in spite of so many physical challenges she has had. She is a treasure hunter for love and humor and courage and inspiration. That is your mother. Follow in those footsteps Zoe. Hunt for all that is good and be careful stepping over the trippers that will be along the way. There are no treasure hunters that do not have obstacles in their way that point to a different direction and cause discouragement. But you can practice this skill and art. Practice by going to Op Shops and open yourself to treasures. Comb the beaches for items from the sea, Look at gardens for flowers and insects and birds. Enjoy the little things that mean so much to being a happy human. 

This life is an adventure with an unfolding you have no way to know before it happens. It opens and opens and challenges and challenges and gives and takes and offers. Just open your eyes to the moment and see what you can find and make your life into art. Have a balance of color and shape and design and sprinkles of magic. That has been my life too. My life with my special daughters, your mother and your Auntie and my granddaughters, you Zoe and Freyja and the wee one that will soon be here too. You do not know what will be but expect it to be a treasure. And then it will be. Treasures can be found when you least expect and need them the most. It is up to you.

My Treasure Hunter and The Moon

 There is something about this photo here Zoe. It is me and over my shoulder is your mom, a delicate pastel sky and the moon in the distance. I could never have imagined when I was her age that this day would come. I could never have imagined that I would be on a sea shore in Australia taking a selfie with your mom in her element being your mom and looking at a moon that is our symbol of hope and life. How could that be? Treasures, treasures, treasures....and to those mothers I know have had loss, greater loss than I have ever known, I know in their stories of grief and loss they too can find treasures and love beyond imagine. We have both ups and downs Zoe, ins and outs, losses and gains, all different some so much greater than others but there are always treasures. It is a belief for sure, but you just have to carry that beach bucket and collect them.

 

Treasure Hunters

Love, Bubbles, your grandmother